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Conflicts are inevitable and while many of us would prefer to avoid it, conflict can be a healthy experience. The caveat is, many of us are not equipped on how to work through conflicts in a healthy, de-escalating way.

Conflict resolution is often a skill we learn through trial and error and wasn’t specifically taught in school or by our parents. In any conflict, we own a part in the dynamics. When we can own our part and see the choices we have, we can respond by feeling empowered.

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Healthy relationships matter

Unresolved Conflicts Comes with a Cost

Inner Matter is ready to help you solve the following problems:
Ongoing Conflict
Ongoing conflict happens when we avoid it or where there is a lack of accountability, trust, communication, commitment, and responsibility. Beginning a courageous conversation isn’t easy and requires skills. Let us help you or your team develop the strategies and skills needed for better collaboration, healthier relationships, and problem-solving that works!
Lack of Collaboration
When working on a project in isolation, a team is as weak as its weakest member and as strong as its strongest member. Team members working in isolation can lead to an entire team being held back due to one part, project delays, and a lack of collective understanding. Collaboration fosters skill development, innovation, collective intelligence, and increases productivity. Let us identify which areas need improvement and guide you or your team to create a more collaborative environment.
Inconsistent Commitment
When stakeholders show up with a lack of commitment, it causes a continuous loss of efficiency, productivity, and lasting results. Over time, it will cause obvious division as well. All members within a team need to see their value and come with high levels of attention, cooperation, and flexibility. Let us show you or your team how to identify the barriers and develop the skills to overcome them.
Communication Issues
Communication plays a large role in most conflicts. First, we need to establish an environment of trust. Second, we are often seeking to be understood rather than seeking to understand. When we are effective listeners, we can create deeper connections and improve our ability to understand the needs of other people. We can help you develop the skills for mindful communication and improve your ability to connect with others.
Ideas Lack Results
Whether we’re in a partnership or part of a team that lacks connection, clarity on our roles, connection to the purpose, and accountability for our part, our ability to see a project from beginning to completion diminishes. Our experts will guide you or your team on maximizing your time, efficiency, productivity, and results.
People Aren’t Speaking Up
When we withhold our thoughts, we withhold answers, limiting innovation, resolve, and possibilities. When people aren’t speaking up, it is mostly due to the absence of trust and safety within ourselves or team members. We will guide you or your team on establishing a culture of trust and safety in any situation.

I have learned so much from Shylla from Inner Matter. She is organized, relatable, and highly educated. She’s taught me how to set boundaries, have courageous conversations, and has helped me understand what has been holding me back! Shylla has challenged my thinking in the most positive way! What I appreciate most are the small practical tips, tricks, strategies, and tools she shares to put into everyday life! Thanks Shylla!

Teri Kuperus, Educator

Results matter

Unlock the Potential

We already have what it takes to create momentum, achieve our goals, and maintain lasting results. Sometimes we just need a little help from experts. Inner Matter is prepared to guide you through these service models.

Human behavior is complex, yet so simple. When we understand the patterns behind it, we can begin to influence thoughts, emotions, and actions in ourselves and others for the good of the group. As someone who has studied human behavior and standardized testing for the past 22 years, I began to notice foundational themes. Within those themes, we all fall somewhere on the spectrum from relative weakness to a strength and anywhere in between. I quickly learned there is power in understanding these constructs, how they relate to ourselves or others for personal and professional growth. When we can build bridges between people and groups, showing them how to relate to and rely on each other, team efficacy improves.

In any relationship or situation, we are bringing our own set of skills, values, beliefs, attitudes, and meaning to the dynamics. When working with others, our differences will typically complement or adversely affect each other. Within a short period of time, we are usually able to notice when we complement each other, creating a deep connection with little work. On the other hand, any conflicting differences will also present themselves and, without skillful resolve, this can greatly impact the dynamics within a team or an organization if we do not address it appropriately.

Relationships typically operate in three phases: connection, nurture, or repair. When we first meet someone, we begin by making connections in our professional and/or personal lives. It is the initial connection that helps us determine if we want to invest any further into the relationship. In most cases, we have a choice in our investment, however in some cases, such as the workplace or with certain family members, that choice has been made for us, leaving it up to us to make the best of the situation. As we all know, this doesn’t always go well.

In the second phase, we need to nurture the relationship once a connection is established. Like a plant that needs water and light to thrive, our relationships need the right amount of attention to stay alive or grow as well.

The third phase is the repair, which is necessary following a conflict. Repair happens when parties follow up with one another after a conflict. In this process, each person identifies their part, they offer solutions to fix the situation, and they commit to correcting this situation for the benefit of the relationship. While repair is the most important phase, it is often the area that falls by the wayside.

In any relationship, conflict is inevitable and seems to be the area we are the least skilled at. Our emotions often come into play and can hijack our frontal lobe’s ability to make rational decisions in the moment. We might face it head on, making the situation worse. On the other hand, many of us try to avoid it, adopting the toddler’s theory of ‘out of sight, out of mind’.

Understanding human behavior and developing skills for each phase of a relationship positions us in a place of feeling empowered to collaborate with others during any type of interaction, particularly conflict resolution. Whether you’re an individual, educator, or a leader, you’ll be able to collaborate with others during any type of conflict in a way that maintains the relationship and reaps positive outcomes. Building stronger and healthier connections leads to a happier, more fulfilled life in and outside of work.

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